My Chainsaw Nightmare

We didn't realize until we moved into my parent's house in the fall of 2009 what we were getting into.  Not a lot of thought went into going from 1/8 acre to 2.  We also didn't realize that many of the trees on the property were in bad shape.  Of course my thought was to hire someone but Jason had other ideas.  He could do it himself.  

I have to admit I didn't have a lot of confidence in him.  Not because I thought he wasn't capable, it was just that Jason is more of a hang out on the couch kind of man.  I knew this fact well because that's where he usually was at our old house when I was out mowing and doing yard work. 

Something about this yard must have motivated him though because many times he would come home from work and hop on the mower right away.  He said if he was on the mower he didn't have to listen to me.  That's fine, and true, but it didn't explain the subscription to TURF Magazine that began showing up in the mailbox. 

Our first spring he decided it was time to get serious about the trees.  Time to bring out the chainsaw and get down to business. I have to tell you, I hate chainsaws.  They terrify me.  Being who I am, a chainsaw brings to mind images of Jason laying on the ground minus a leg or arm.  When I tried to plead my case, he told me to stay out of it.  I decided to change my outlook and try looking on the bright side...when I  thought about it, a man wielding a large power tool looked kind of sexy.


Maybe I told him he looked good with the chainsaw because it suddenly seemed like he was pulling out the chainsaw more often than needed.  Even our neighbors started to notice.  I would be sitting on their porch and Crystal would say, "What's that sound?  Does Jason have the chainsaw out again?"

The sporadic chainsawing continued through summer and early fall.  Little by little there was improvement in the yard.  My Dad had moved home and he and Jason decided there was an old apple tree that needed to come down.  Just what I needed, another chainsaw happy man in my life. My dad set himself up in a lawn chair near the action.  I reminded Jason to be careful because I certainly didn't want my 92 year old father crushed by an apple tree while sitting in his lawn chair.  Things went smoothly and by next year we should have some nicely seasoned applewood to burn in the fireplace.  


You may be wondering why I called this a nightmare.  Well, I learned nothing gives a man with a chainsaw more confidence than successfully taking out a 15 ft. tree.  Jason informed me that next he was going to take out the 50 ft. wild cherry tree that sits between our house and the neighbors.  Huh?  I surely didn't hear him correctly. My pleading about the dangers began again and I felt my case was strong this time since the neighbor's property was involved.  Knowing Dad wouldn't be much help, I decided to talk to the Sam and Crystal.  Surely Sam could help me.  

I guess all men think alike because Sam suggested he could help by tying a rope to the tree and pulling it with his truck as Jason was making the necessary cuts.  This is not at all what I was hoping for.  The only one on my side was Sam's wife Crystal, but we were outnumbered.  At this point the only good thing about this situation was that the weather was turning cold and Jason needed a new chainsaw.  The tree would have to wait until spring. Maybe Jason would lose motivation and decide bringing in a professional wasn't such a bad idea.

So here we are just a few short weeks from spring.  Although I prayed really hard that the winds of recent weeks would take the tree down, naturally not even a twig fell.  Talk of the tree has begun again.  Jason has a new chainsaw and I have officially given up my fight.  In fact Crystal and I will probably sit in lawn chairs next to my dad and watch the show.  A pitcher of margaritas with a little extra tequila may be in order and I will have 9-1-1 on speed dial just in case.  

You can probably tell that it is the dead looking tree farthest to left. The picture doesn't do it justice.  There is a huge branch on the back side that accounts for some of the tallest parts of the tree.  That is the part that will probably land in the neighbor's yard.  

Righting a wrong......AGAIN

I should have seen this coming.  I was very proud of my slideshow of Ashley because I can be technologically challenged at times.  I was excited to show it to the rest of the family.  They watched it giggling and reminiscing through it and then they all went on their way.  Except for Anna.  She sort of lingered.  I thought she was just hanging out, but she had something on her mind.

"Mom, do you love Ashley more than us?"  

"What?  Of course not!"

"Well, how come you made her a slideshow but you didn't make us one?"

Now normally I don't fall for the you didn't do it for me kind of stuff that is fairly normal when you have more than one child.  In fact just recently Brooke was dramatically explaining to me how I don't fuss at Anna and Ben as much as her and I actually said, "Well, today I like them more.  Maybe tomorrow I will like you the best."  She stomped off just as dramatically.  

Asking me if I love one more than another though, well, that just got to me.  That just isn't possible.  So to make sure everyone feels the love I decided to do another slideshow. 

That will be it for my slideshow making.  This second go around was so frustrating Jason had to make me get up from the computer and go to bed last night around 12:30.  When I finished this one Anna actually asked me if I was going to do one for each of them by themselves.  I said, "ABSOLUTELY NOT.  I love you.....but not that much!"  She responded by saying "Yeah, right.  You do to."  I am glad she knows it now.

Seriously....I am not impressed

Today during "My Friday" I got to experience customer service at its best....and at its worst.  I'll begin with the best.


I love Toyota on Nicholasville.  I pulled up in the service line and a very pleasant young man opened my door for me.  "Hello!  How may I help you?"  I explained my purpose and he pulled some paperwork and pointed me in the direction of my service guy's office.  I am already pleased because my paperwork and car tag are ready to go.  I opened the door of the office and my service guy, whom I have only met once said, "Hello Mrs. Craven!"  "I have your paperwork ready and it will only take a moment to have your loaner car pulled up."  Of course they new why I was there since I had already had that discussion early in the week. A discussion in which all of my questions had been skillfully answered, so I stood to the side and let the person behind me approach the desk.  This next man asked the service guy some sort of car related question and the guy answered it in full, easy to understand detail along with several questions that followed.  In fairly short order my loaner car, a Camry like I suspected, was ready and they helped me move some items from the van to the car, shook my hand and I was off.  At that time I wasn't thinking about customer service....that would come later.


On to Barnes and Noble with high hopes that my current Nook problems would be solved.   I had the utmost confidence that they would be because the guy who sold it to me seemed very knowledgeable and was able to answer my questions. I walk in and there is another lady waiting at the "Nook" desk.  She seemed sort of frustrated, but before I had time to think about that a gentleman asked if he could help me.  I will call him guy #1.  I proceeded to explain my wi-fi connectivity issues.  I won't go into it here, but for the past several weeks it just won't connect the way it should.  Here is where it goes downhill.  Guy #1 didn't even know where to look on the Nook to find the wi-fi button.  I showed him, then went on to show him what it does when I try to connect by trying to connect to the Barnes and Noble wi-fi.   Thankfully, my Nook cooperated by doing the same thing it had been doing at home.  Guy #1 didn't say anything, although he seemed to be trying to think of something to say.  

Now as hard as I try to refrain from saying the first thing that pops into my head, that doesn't always work, so I said very softly to him...."You don't know what you are doing do you?"  He said "No.  I sure don't".   In walks guy #2 who I realize right away is there to help the frustrated lady next to me....I notice her now because she quite loudly tells guy #2 that he had better figure out a way to fix this while she is in the store because she had trusted them when she bought it and she wanted it fixed.  Turns out she is having a problem downloading books from the B & N site.  Guy #2 is shaking....I mean that literally, his hands were shaking.  Guy #1 obviously not picking up on the fact that Guy #2 is at his capacity to handle anything, starts telling Guy #2 my problems.  Guy #2 looks up at me, then past me with a bit of a relieved look on his face.  Turns out Guy #3 is headed our way.  Guy #1 by this point is backing away, slowly trying to escape the whole mess.  Guy #2 quickly explains both of our problems to Guy #3, lays both Nooks on the counter and walks away.   I haven't said another word and the lady next to me is showing great restraint also.  Guy #3 doesn't even try to find out more info he just says he will give us both new Nooks.  Really?  


We both left the store with OUR Nooks and an 800 service number to call.  I may end up calling that number, but the first call I make will be to Barnes and Noble customer service. The other lady, well she was already on her phone and judging by some of the words she was using, she was already talking to customer service. 


Consumers really don't ask that much if you think about it.  We aren't complaining needlessly.  I don't know about you, but all I really want is when I spend good money on a product, I want part of the cost to go towards someone being there for me when I have a problem.  They should understand the product. I received some of the best customer service possible at Toyota on Nicholasville.  Yes, I am a smart enough consumer to know that it is all part of the overall Toyota marketing plan and that I am paying for it, but they don't just have a plan.....they execute the plan.  What they do is instill confidence in their product.  I would never question buying another Toyota, or having it serviced at that location.  The jury is still out on Barnes and Noble.  Maybe I should have gotten a Kindle. 

Righting a wrong.....I think

Lately Ashley says little things that make me think she may think we have forgotten all about her.  Of course we haven't, but I can see how it could feel that way.  I post pictures of Brooke, Anna, and Ben on Facebook and in this blog.....but no recent pictures of Ashley.  So Monday for Valentine's Day I decided I would go up and take her out to lunch.  I like to see her whenever possible, but with her schedule and mine, it can be difficult.  Most of all though on this visit I wanted to get a few pictures.  So off I go.  I get all ready to take pictures, turn on my camera......no memory card.  Apparently Brooke had borrowed the card and not returned it.  Urgh.  This has bothered me since Monday, so today I thought I would put together this little slideshow for her.  Most of her baby pictures were before digital cameras and of course I have put them all in scrapbooks, but I managed to find one or two and put them in with more recent favorite photos.  The song is one that means a lot to me, it is my "Ashley" song. I hope I don't embarrass her too badly....but then again, that is what moms are for!!!

Is it Friday yet?

"Is it Friday yet?" is a commonly used expression. This didn't use to mean a lot to me.  Just another day of the week.  Things have changed though and Friday has taken on a whole new meaning.  I even get mad if someone tries to mess with Friday and this winter that has happened quite a bit!  

Friday has become MY DAY. Well, at least about six hours of it anyway.  On Friday this wonderful angel comes from a caregivers group and takes care of Mom for me.  I see her as an angel, because she makes my day possible. That means that unless the kids are out of school, I have the day all to myself.  This is the day I re-charge my batteries.

By Wednesday I am already talking about Friday, and by Thursday I have usually added a little dance to the talk.  I wonder sometimes if this hurts the kids feelings when I dance around talking about how great Friday is because I get to spend it by myself.  They look at me kind of strangely and Brooke usually rolls her eyes.  

So what is on the agenda for this Friday.....mostly the usual stuff.  I start with a stop at Starbucks, where last week the cute young man at the window said "Hey, it must be Friday!"  Then I will be dropping my car off at the dealership for some warranty work.  Lucky for me, the van won't be ready until Saturday, so I get a loaner car.  I'm kind of hoping the loaner car will be a top of the line Sienna with motorized doors and a sunroof, but I am not usually that lucky.  Most likely, it will be a Camry.  I will make my usual stops at Hobby Lobby and Michael's to check out the crafts and possibly use my weekly 40% off coupons.  Some Friday's I eat with Ashley but since I saw her on Monday for Valentine's Day, I will probably opt for a bagel at Panera.  Then I will probably head over to Barnes and Noble with my Nook to check out the free Friday deals. After that, it will be time to head home so I can get there in time to see those smiling faces hop off the bus.   

This may not sound exciting to some, but to me it is a perfect day.  I never knew how important it was to make time for myself, but I know now it helps me keep a positive outlook the rest of the week.  Jason says that's just the Starbucks talking!

Disaster Preparedness

A couple of weeks ago I was enjoying my morning cup of coffee and watching Good Morning America as I usually do after the kids get off to school.  This particular day they had a segment on whether or not having a happy disposition is genetic.  You mean whether or not I am negative or positive might not be my own choice? Intriguing.  I had never thought of this.  I had been looking for someone to blame for my attitude and this might just give me what I needed! Turns out, it didn't give me an excuse, but it did get me to thinking about this whole idea of whether or not I am a glass half full or glass half empty kind of girl.  

My life has been pretty good.  Bumps in the road, well sometimes mountains, but overall life is wonderful.  At least this is how I viewed it.  Sure I complain, can be difficult to tolerate, often think about all the things that could go wrong with a situation, been called Negative Nellie more than once, but I have never considered myself an overly negative or pessimistic person. 

I didn't always think the way I do now though.  I can remember being a happy go lucky kind of kid.  I made mud pies, played with Barbie Dolls, and rode my bike all day long.  Life was simple and carefree.  Around the age of 9 events happened that changed the way I looked at things.  I wasn't consciously aware of those changes or hadn't connected them to particular events, but things were different.  My world had changed and I didn't really understand it. I can remember when we would return home from a trip and turn onto the road to the house that the anxious feelings would start.  By the time we topped the hill where you could see our house my mind would be racing.  I would be thinking "Please don't let the house have burned down".  As soon as I would see that the house was still standing, the feelings would go away.  I think it was then that I began to think of the worst things that could possibly happen then feel a huge sense of relief and excitement when they didn't!  That's where disaster preparedness came to life.  It was my protection. 

My life continued on this way through many life changing events and even the small events of life.  I didn't want to believe that something would be great and wonderful just to have it shattered so instead I would think of the worst things that could happen and then devise plans to either avoid the worst or ways to fix the worst.  A lot of things happened that might have taken most people out.  Not me.  I felt strong because I was always prepared.   Not very spontaneous, but ready! Those that know me well, know that I am a take the bull by the horns, fiercely independent kind of girl.  I see something that needs to be done and I do it.  I may not be pleasant about it, but it gets done.  I am nothing if not consistently prepared and reliable.

The truth of the matter though is that in all of these years of being prepared for impending doom I had really created a life in a bubble.  I didn't take risks  or get involved in things I couldn't control.  Sort of thinking like if I don't get on the roller coaster then I don't have to worry about the seat breaking and plunging to my death.  I protected life inside the bubble and as my family grew I protected them in the same way.  Don't get me wrong, we had a lot of fun in our bubble. Life went along relatively smoothly. Then I got a "real" job as some would call it.  Let me tell you, I learned quickly that bubbles are really fragile.  

I had always dreamed of being a teacher.  It seemed that teaching would be right up my alley.  Working with children meant you always have to be prepared for potential disasters and I was definitely aces at that. That was not my problem.  Being in the classroom was a joy to me.  I loved the kids, the planning, pouring over data, seeing them learn. Outside the classroom was a different story. I suddenly found myself swimming in a sea of strangeness. Strangeness that I couldn't control.  What is with all of this positivity?  Coming up with problems and solutions together.  Teamwork.  They didn't really talk about what could go wrong.  Uh-oh. They didn't teach this in college. What the hell was this?  I felt awkward right from the start.  Of course, as with most jobs, there was plenty of negativity to go around, it just wasn't in your face.  I was utterly miserable and perfectly happy all at the same time. I didn't understand what was going on with me. 

I was 39 years old and had worked a lot of jobs in my life.  I had been a waitress, a factory worker, a secretary, a pharmacy tech, a grocery store clerk.  I had even cleaned houses for several years.  I had never in my life had trouble working with people, or problems feeling awkward.  Problem was none of those jobs had required me to work WITH people, only around people.  I had never had to think about being positive. These were people skills I didn't have.  How do you act positive when you feel negative? How do you take what you want to say and make sure there is a positive spin on it?  It didn't take long for a teacher who worked diligently with me my first year, and for whom I have the utmost respect, to label me "Negative Nellie".  This became our joke, even though in reality it really wasn't funny.  It hurt because I didn't see myself that way. I also really admired my partner teacher because she had the skills I needed.  She had the ability to put a positive spin on things when needed and tell it like it was when needed without being seen as negative. More than once, I wished I was her. I not only felt down most of the time, but like I brought everything down around me.  This was a DISASTER....a real disaster. 

Where am I going with this?  Right back to the Good Morning America segment I mentioned earlier.  You see what I have learned is that no matter what kind of research you find on genetic connections or the power of positive thinking, life isn't an either or situation.  Sometimes the glass IS half full and sometimes it IS half empty.  Yes, part of me does believe I was born this way so there is a genetic connection, but most of it comes from life experiences that have shaped me, good and bad, into who I am. Not that I haven't changed from 39 to 42 because I have.  I don't live in that bubble anymore.  I live in a house with a door partially open...I am still prepared for disaster but I smile more, laugh more, and think more before I speak.  I often choose positive expressions intentionally over negative and have learned that it can feel pretty good.  I don't have to broadcast all of my negative thoughts anymore. I can't plan for everything because I am not in control of everything and I finally figured out that for me the bigger disaster is focusing too much on stopping it in the first place. 

Life is good.  In fact I would say my glass is half full. 

Dreams and Google

I love Google.  Makes me feel powerful.  If I want to know about something, I just Google it.  Don't know the meaning of a word or how to spell something, just Google it.  Kids driving you crazy or husband lost his mind.....google it. This has become quite a habit.  I am not even sure if I can get through a day without googling.  On days when I am googling too much, I call it research so my family doesn't think I am just playing around.  I think they have caught on though.  Last night Brooke came in to the room and said quite seriously that she needed to do some research. I thought, "Yeah right.  Research. She just wants to play."  Turns out she is working on a science project and really needs to do the research.   

So this morning I decided to research dreams.  I have been having the same 2 dreams as far back as I can remember and I am determined to figure out what they mean.  Google would have my answers. I should say though, that I am not a big believer in dream interpretations.  I tend to be fairly data driven kind of person, so I am starting out a skeptic....but with a partially open mind. 

The first dream I have had as far back as I can remember.  This dream always happens when I am sick, especially as a child when I had a lot of ear infections. I am small, I mean this literally, I am tiny like an ant.  I am in a huge room sitting on a chair in the middle of the room.  Walking all around the edges of the room are bugs.  These aren't little bugs.  They are gigantic, 20 feet tall.  They stare at me as they walk along and occasionally one will come over and look at me as if he is deciding to eat me or not.  I want to scream but I can't.  Nothing comes out. 

Knowing that this dream always occurs when I am sick, I pretty much felt it was related to running a fever.  I wondered what google would say.  I googled "Feeling small in dreams and surrounded by big bugs".  I wanted to make sure I included all the important parts.  So what did my search come up with? FAIRY SIGHTINGS by ADULTS. Ok.  Not exactly what I was going for.  I finally found entries that seemed to be written by sane people and learned that this is actually a fairly common dream people have, and occurs mostly when you are sick.  Of course each dream is in a different form, but the essence of it is the same.  When you are sick, you feel small and weak, and in all actuality are being attacked by a "bug".  My friend google did a good job on this one.

On to the next dream.  I have to say when I have this dream, I always wake up with a smile on my face and that feeling that I just want to go back to sleep and finish the entire dream.  I have even tried to do that.  I usually succeed at going back to sleep, but I never fall back into the dream.  I will go ahead and tell those of you with dirty minds....it has nothing to do with sex.  

I am at the beach.  I live in a light blue beach house with black shutters.  The house has a fabulous wrap around porch.  You can't see the beach from the front of the house, but when you walk around to the side, it is there.  Gorgeous.  I can smell the ocean and the water is a perfect blue. The sand comes up to the house.  Feels very peaceful. I bet you are thinking that this is a simple dream.  A lot of people probably have beach dreams right?  Here is what makes this one different.  I have had this dream for years.  It used to be just Ashley and me in the the dream.  Then Jason started showing up in it.  As I had more children, each one would show up in the dream.  In the dream the kids are playing on the beach, but I am in the house.  Apparently it is a gigantic house and it is full of furniture and stuff that previous owners have left behind.  Used to be just me cleaning and sorting the stuff, then eventually Jason was in the dream helping.  Another interesting part of the dream is that I am always finding hidden doors.  They seem to be everywhere and it frustrates me.  When I get frustrated, I go out onto the side porch and watch the children who are building sand castles and I smile.  That is when I wake up.  Every single time. Just once in this dream I would like to walk down the porch steps and feel the warm sand between my toes.  That's why I always try and go back to sleep.  Wonder what google would say to this one.   

This time my "research" really paid off.  I came across a dream dictionary.  You can search the dictionary by keyword and it will give you a variety of possibilities for that word.   

First "beach".  There were several possibilities for this one, but I settled on the one that seemed to fit the best.  

• To dream that you are on the beach and looking out toward the ocean, indicates unknown and major changes that are occurring in your life. Consider the state of the ocean, whether it is calm, pleasant, forbidding, etc.

House.  There were a lot of possibilities for this one.

• To dream that you are cleaning your house, signifies your need to clear out your thoughts and get rid of old ways. You are seeking self-improvement.

Housework.  Only one choice and it really made me laugh.  

• To dream that you are doing housework, suggests that you are making changes in your lifestyle and the way you are living. You are doing away with your old ways and habits and starting anew. Alternatively, the dream may just be a reflection of the monotony of your daily life. Do something adventurous.

You know, Google is smart.  All joking aside, I believe this dream "interpretation" is really accurate for where I am right now in life.  I also believe when I look back, I have always had this dream when my life has had big changes. 

I find being able to have a tool like the internet at my fingertips to be completely fascinating.  This didn't exist when I was growing up.  Now you can learn about anything, anywhere, anytime.  I do wonder sometimes though if we have become too reliant.  Truthfully, I don't need the internet to figure out my dreams, my friend Crystal already told me what they meant and she was more accurate than my research.  She pointed out that my OCD is connected to the cleaning as well as life changes.  Yet I am sure I will continue to be amazed by what I can learn from the internet and in years to come be equally amazed by what my children and grandchildren will be able to do with computer technology. I just hope along the way they also learn to rely on their own brilliant minds to figure things out.